Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
