Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just invented taco cereal.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
