he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
