omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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