My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
