If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
