Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
