girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
