so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
