to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.