Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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