I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
