then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
