i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize