I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
