he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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