That's intense
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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