i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
