I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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