i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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