Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
