too bad you live with your parents still
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize