Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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