Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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