redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
