do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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