The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
