The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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