Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You may now shotgun with the bride
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
