Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize