fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
