I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
nutella sex= disaster
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
