Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
