We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
