I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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