I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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