I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Help. Why am I so naked?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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