Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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