He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
