don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
