yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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