That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
