dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
