ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
