if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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