they need to just BURY HIM!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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