i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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