Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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