i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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