you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
