Jerry, you need to find god
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
