we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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