we have officially lost it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
