kristin has been a bad kristin
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
