you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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