The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was confusing and full of hummus
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
