My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.