Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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  (850): Did you dl zombie porn on my computer? http://tfl.nu/emjo
  Replies (11) Good night (1878) Bad night (3151)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack

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  (918): I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack http://tfl.nu/o54t
  Replies (29) Good night (7065) Bad night (1014)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.

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  (518): i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that. http://tfl.nu/4wam
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (2579)
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  (760): View more from California

  double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors

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  (760): double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors http://tfl.nu/3oh4
  Replies (10) Good night (3697) Bad night (823)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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  (912): His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/9x22
  Replies (21) Good night (937) Bad night (5534)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.

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  (717): Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene. http://tfl.nu/3l38
  Replies (8) Good night (4186) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
  Replies (9) Good night (2265) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.

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  (570): They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them. http://tfl.nu/mod4
  Replies (2) Good night (1621) Bad night (555)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.

  (347): View more from New York

  Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!

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  (646): Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee. (347): Wait a min, you had drugs last night?! http://tfl.nu/3nfc
  Replies (1) Good night (1254) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.

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  (940): Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected. http://tfl.nu/ylps
  Replies (4) Good night (1066) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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  (575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf
  Replies (10) Good night (1654) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

  (310): View more from California

  It's the best of both worlds

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  (310): Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor. (310): It's the best of both worlds http://tfl.nu/n8mo
  Replies (6) Good night (749) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.

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  (570): Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor. http://tfl.nu/k71v
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there

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  (806): Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there http://tfl.nu/qxkk
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.

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  (720): You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people. http://tfl.nu/1lh0
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (253)

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