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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Perfect. Like where your heads at

  (906): View more from Michigan

  By relax I mean have sex

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• (762): View more from Georgia

  Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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• (415): View more from California

  what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (315): View more from New York

  im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I want her autograph on my taint

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done

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