Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  We won't sleep together?

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  (212): We won't sleep together? http://tfl.nu/ebgb
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (1968)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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  (314): My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control. http://tfl.nu/vcg1
  Replies (9) Good night (1041) Bad night (2934)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (87445) Bad night (3635)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you

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  (708): oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you http://tfl.nu/ee4s
  Replies (11) Good night (1567) Bad night (2945)
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  (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
  Replies (14) Good night (4638) Bad night (668)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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  (615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94
  Replies (27) Good night (4314) Bad night (824)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

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  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
  Replies (79) Good night (9649) Bad night (1541)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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  (662): He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people? http://tfl.nu/km81
  Replies (9) Good night (1058) Bad night (3315)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.

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  (301): I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door. (215): Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go. http://tfl.nu/76is
  Replies (12) Good night (3763) Bad night (1784)
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  (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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  (408): Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar? http://tfl.nu/xsyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1810) Bad night (728)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.

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  (201): I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/k100
  Replies (5) Good night (1630) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

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  (740): Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3z9c
  Replies (24) Good night (1266) Bad night (3478)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.

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  (224): They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship. http://tfl.nu/ra28
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (1221)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.

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  (410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59
  Replies (17) Good night (947) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"

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  (631): speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist" http://tfl.nu/hn7i
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (533)

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