Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
someone owes me an orgasm
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?