I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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