He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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